Dildo Guide: Finding the Perfect Dildo for You

With so many sizes, shapes, materials and designs to consider, picking a dildo can seem overwhelming. The key is to focus on the sensations you’re after, what feels good for your body, and how you’d like to use it. This dildo guide will walk you through each step to help you find your perfect match.

Dildo Guide: How to Choose the Right Dildo for You

The simplest way to pick a dildo is to forget about searching for the “perfect” one and focus on what you want it to do for you. Size is important, but so are shape, firmness, texture and how you plan to use your toy.

Before you get lost in endless product tabs, start by asking yourself these five questions:

1. Are you after gentle penetration or a more filling sensation?
2. Do you like a smooth finish or something more lifelike?
3. Are you looking for targeted pressure on spots like the G-spot?
4. Will you use it alone, with a partner, or both?
5. Would you rather hold it, use it with a harness, or go hands-free?

Your answers will instantly narrow down your choices.

For instance, if you’re new to dildos and mainly want to try penetration, a smooth, easy-to-handle silicone dildo is likely a better starting point than something large and textured. If you already know you enjoy firm pressure, a curved or firmer style could be more appealing.

Quick tip: focus on the feeling you want and how you’ll use the toy first. Features come after. A dildo that suits your needs will bring more pleasure than one that just looks impressive.

Once you know what you’re after, you can browse the full dildo selection at Desirel.co.uk to find the right fit.

What Size Dildo Should You Pick?

The ideal dildo size is one that feels comfortable and gives you confidence. Bigger isn’t always better, and if it’s your first time, it’s usually easier to start with something you can handle easily and build from there.

Pay attention to two key measurements:

Insertable length

This is how much of the dildo can actually go inside you. It’s more important than the total length, especially if the toy has a big base or suction cup.

You don’t have to use the full insertable length. Longer dildos can be used shallowly, but beginners often find shorter options easier to manage.

Diameter or girth

This tells you how filling the dildo will feel. Many people notice changes in thickness more than a few extra centimetres in length.

Don’t just go by “small” or “medium” labels. Always check the real measurements, as sizing can differ between brands.

If you already use fingers, toys or enjoy penetration with a partner, think about what feels good now. That’s a much better guide than guessing from a picture.

If you’re brand new, there’s no need to start big. A slimmer dildo gives you more control while you figure out what you like.

Which Dildo Shape Will Suit You Best?

The ideal dildo shape depends on the sensations you’re after. Straight, curved, realistic and textured dildos each offer unique experiences, even if their sizes are similar.

Here’s a straightforward way to decide:

• For easy, simple penetration: opt for a smooth, straight dildo.
• For focused internal pressure: choose a curved or angled design.
• For a fuller sensation: go for a thicker shaft.
• For a more realistic feel: a lifelike dildo might be your best bet.
• For gentle exploration: pick a slim, smooth style.
• For hands-free fun: look for a dildo with a suction cup base.
• For harness play: select a dildo with a wide, harness-friendly base.

Curved dildos can make it easier to target the front vaginal wall, while straight ones let you adjust the angle yourself.

Texture is all about personal taste. Raised veins, ridges or shapes add extra friction. Some people love that extra stimulation, while others prefer a smooth shaft for a gentler feel and easier movement.

Your first dildo doesn’t need to tick every box. A simple design that helps you discover what you enjoy is often the most helpful.

What Material is Best for a Dildo?

For most people new to dildos, high-grade silicone is one of the most user-friendly materials. It’s smooth, flexible, easy to clean and comes in both soft and firm options.

If that sounds right for you, you can focus your search on silicone dildos.

But it’s not just about the material. How firm the toy is makes a big difference too.

Softer dildos move with your body and can feel gentler during use. Firmer toys deliver more direct pressure, which is great if you enjoy targeted sensations.

Glass dildos are much firmer and have a super-smooth finish. They’re a good choice if you already know you like strong, precise pressure, but they’re less forgiving than silicone.

Real-feel materials are made to mimic a softer, more natural sensation. Cleaning and care can vary, so always check the manufacturer’s instructions.

Material tip: don’t assume all silicone toys feel the same. Check the product details for flexibility, firmness and surface texture as well. These factors can impact your experience just as much as the material itself.

Top Dildo Choices for Beginners

If you’re just starting out, the best first dildo is one that’s easy to handle, has a smooth surface, is made from a body-safe material and is simple to use. You don’t need loads of bells and whistles for a great first experience.

If you’re not sure where to begin, use this checklist:

A beginner-friendly dildo is usually:

• slim to medium rather than extra thick
• comfortable in insertable length
• smooth or only lightly textured
• flexible enough to move comfortably with your body
• easy to hold and control
• compatible with a suitable lubricant
• made from a material with clear care instructions

That doesn’t mean every beginner wants a tiny toy. If you already know you like a fuller feeling, going for something bigger is perfectly fine.

What matters most isn’t whether a toy is labelled “beginner”, but whether its size and sensation match what you know about your body.

If you’re torn between two sizes, it’s usually easier to start with the more manageable one. You can always try something larger later on.

Are Suction Cups, Curves or Other Features Worth It?

Extra features are worth considering if they solve a problem or open up new ways to use your toy that genuinely appeal to you. You don’t need them just because they’re available.

Suction cup

A strong suction cup lets you stick the dildo to a smooth surface, giving you more freedom with positions and freeing up your hands. It’s great for solo sessions, but couples can enjoy it too.

If hands-free play sounds like your thing, check out our suction cup dildos.

Curved shape

A curved or angled tip makes it easier to apply pressure exactly where you want it. This is ideal if you’re after targeted stimulation rather than just penetration.

Harness-compatible base

If you want to use your dildo with a strap-on harness, make sure the base is the right shape and size before buying.

Double-ended designs

These are fun for couples or for dual stimulation, but they’re usually more of a specific choice than a first-timer’s pick.

The main thing: pick features because you’ll actually use them, not just because they’re listed.

Should You Go for a Dildo or a Vibrator?

Go for a dildo if you want penetration, a feeling of fullness and full control over the movement. Choose a vibrator if you’re mainly after the sensation of vibration.

Neither is automatically better than the other.

A dildo lets you set the pace, depth and angle, with no motor to distract from the sensation. That’s why many people find them great for exploring what kind of internal pressure feels good.

Vibrators, on the other hand, can offer both internal and external vibrations, depending on their design. Some combine penetration with clitoral stimulation too.

• Looking for penetration and fullness? Start with a dildo.
• Want buzzing, pulsing or external sensations? Check out vibrators.
• Want the best of both? Try an insertable vibrator or a toy designed for dual stimulation.

If you’re still unsure, our vibrator guide covers the different types and what each is best for.

And remember, you can always have both—different toys for different moods.

How to Choose a Dildo for Anal Play

When it comes to anal use, the most crucial feature is a wide, flared base that can’t slip inside. Never use a regular vaginal dildo for anal play unless it has a secure base.

If you’re new to anal toys, pay close attention to the size and shape. A slim, smooth dildo is generally easier to control and more comfortable for beginners.

Look for:

• a clearly flared or wide base
• a manageable diameter
• a smooth surface
• enough flexibility for comfortable movement
• a shape specifically designed or suitable for anal play

Always use plenty of lubricant and take your time. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so don’t skimp on lube.

If you’re new to anal, our anal toys for beginners guide goes into more detail on picking your first toy, getting ready and using it comfortably.

And remember: if it hurts, stop. Pleasure should never feel like a test.

Tips for Safe Dildo Use and Care

You don’t need a big ritual for your new dildo. Just wash it as the manufacturer recommends, use plenty of lube, start gently and pay attention to your body’s response.

For silicone toys, water-based lubricants are usually the safest bet. If you want to try another type, check it’s compatible with your toy’s material first.

While using your dildo:

• start with shallow, gentle movements
• add more lube as needed
• try changing the angle before going deeper
• never force penetration if it feels uncomfortable
• talk to your partner if you’re using it together

Clean your toy after use as per the care instructions and let it dry completely before putting it away.

If you’re sharing a dildo between partners or switching between anal and vaginal use, hygiene is even more important. Clean it thoroughly or use a fresh condom over the toy if needed.

Want to shop privately? Desirel.co.uk orders arrive in plain packaging, so only you know what’s inside. Detailed product info makes it easy to compare materials, sizes and features before you buy.

Dildo Guide FAQs

What’s the best dildo size for someone new to toys?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but a slimmer, easy-to-handle dildo is usually best when you’re just starting out. Always check the actual insertable length and girth instead of relying on vague size labels.

How can I tell if a dildo is too large for me?

If a dildo makes you tense up, causes pain, or isn’t comfortable even with arousal, lube and a gentle approach, it’s too big for you right now. You never have to use the full length for it to feel good.

Is silicone the top choice for a first dildo?

Silicone is a favourite for beginners because quality silicone is smooth, flexible and easy to look after. Still, pay attention to how firm it is—a soft and a firm silicone dildo can feel very different.

Should my first dildo look realistic?

Only if that’s what you’re drawn to. Realistic dildos offer anatomical shapes and textures, while smooth, non-realistic ones can feel less intimidating. Neither is better for beginners—choose what excites you most.

Do I need to use lubricant with a dildo?

Lubricant usually makes penetration more comfortable and helps you control movement. Water-based lube is a good all-rounder for most toys, including silicone dildos. Always check the toy and lube instructions if you’re unsure about compatibility.

Can couples use a dildo together?

Definitely! Dildos can be used for foreplay, penetration, strap-on fun or letting one partner take control. Talk about what feels good as you go. Suction cup and harness-ready dildos give couples even more ways to play.

Feeling Ready to Pick Out a Dildo?

The right dildo isn’t always the biggest, most lifelike or most complex. It’s the one that gives you the sensations you want, feels good for your body and suits how you want to use it.

Use this dildo guide as your checklist: start with size, then think about shape, material, firmness and any features you’ll actually use. Once you’ve sorted those, browsing different dildos becomes much simpler.

Check out the dildo range at Desirel.co.uk and compare the details that matter to you. With clear product info, body-safe choices and discreet UK delivery, you can take your time and find the perfect fit.